Father Albert

28th December

Since we are going to have a blessing in St. Joseph Cathedral, Kuching, Alvin and I went to see the priest who is going to do the honor – Father Albert.

Father Albert is a Dutch. According to Becky he is a very well respected priest in Malaysia. He is funny and strict, open minded and conservative at the same time.

He asked us a few questions separately like “do you have a husband/wife hiding behind the coconut tree that no one knows about?” and “will you be having any children? If not, I will not say the blessing.”

His reasoning for the children part was because marriage is a reason to start a family. So whether we will be having children or not, he said we should keep the option open.

I thought he was right because you’ll never know what is going to happen in the future, ain’t it?

Alright! So he agrees to marry us as we are so nice to him… Becky’s fruit cake must have done something to him…

The only problem is Alvin’s father might have problem with Father Albert decision on the mass and blessing issue.

Long time ago when Alvin elder sister was getting married, she is marrying a non-catholic, like me. But the father wants to have a mass instead of blessing.

He fought with the archbishop with the reason “the rule is meant to be broken” so badly and he didn’t get a mass but only a blessing from the church.

So as long as you are not marrying a catholic, you are not entitled to have a mass for your wedding.

Today, the father and the archbishop are not talking to each other ever since.

So, we hope it won’t lead to the result – Father Albert is not going to marry us.

To a catholic who doesn’t go to church regularly, Alvin asked how long will the ceremony be…

“2 days.” Father Albert said.

Our eyes popped out and I said: “Wow! That’s pretty much like the Hindu wedding, heh?”

We know he was joking. So he told us it is going to be about 1 hour. Well, he didn’t say it as simple as “only 1 hour”. He expressed his “1 hour only” in a total of 10 sentences about what the ceremony is all about, in just 1 hour.

Well, he is funny.

He also pointed out we should say the vow ourselves.

“I don’t like to say the vow on your behalf and you just say ‘I do’… you should express your love to one and other by saying or reading your own vow.” He said.

So, we are going to read our vow in front of many people through a microphone… hmmm… quite fun heh?

That’s about it. He gave us some booklet as reference and told us to make sure we got the approval from him before printing them in big bulk.

“You don’t want me to reject all of them on your wedding day right?”

When it comes to the bridal attire, he said: “you know how to dress yourself up.”

He had seen some with the cleavage so low he could see the belly button. “That’s not nice,” he said. He wants to see something beautiful, nice and elegant.

“But if you are wearing something not very decent, I will ask.”

“Can I wear a hat?”

“Sure! You are the bride.”

This put a smile on my face. That shows how much the church respect us.

In West Malaysia, you may ask your priest to advice you on what you gonna wear.

Becky had a cousin who was getting married and the mother insist her to wear a sari. She was pissed off because she wanted to wear a bridal gown, but the mother disapproves because the mother bought a one nice expensive sari all the way from India.

So she challenges the mother, “can I wear the sari any way I want?”

“Sure! As long as you wear the sari.” The mother said.

Ok. Guess what she did…

She wrap around the sari like sarung with little extra dangling down in front like ribbon. Because it’s a sari and the way she wearing it, the skirt did not touch the ground and you could see her culf.

Hmmm… need not mention the deep cleavage every Indian girl has…

Accompanied by the father she walked down the aisle, the entire church full of relatives and friends looked at her with mixed expression… surprise, angry, disapproval, funny etc.

When they finally are in front of the priest, the priest whisper something to her… and the crown saw she and the father exchanged a few words… and then the bridesmaid came down and asked everyone “anybody have a shawl?”

The priest refuse to carry on with the mass because she did not dressed decently, and he told her to cover up.

Well, it’s late morning and no one has a shawl. Someone had to go home and get her a shawl.

Embarrassing? Yes.

Both mother and daughter lost in the battle of sari and gown. No one is happy. Today, everyone remember their wedding and they became the laughing stalk.

Sometimes I thought parents of brides and grooms shouldn’t get involve in what you wearing, at the end of the day, it’s your wedding, you dress as you please.

I will bet wearing a sari for the luncheon on Sunday, I kind of like the idea since the sari is something that passing down for generations. Alvin grandmother to his mother, and now she is passing it down to me.

The meeting was just a session to talk about the meaning of marriage. I'm glad we did that because it did change my idea of marriage.

I am looking forward to see Father Albert again, Becky told me his sermon is quite interesting, until the other priest she knows…