CMPC 1

Catholic Marriage Preparation Course (CMPC) is compulsory for all Catholics who wish/vow to get married in church, bless by the priest and shower with confetti like the Ferrero Rocher’s commercial.

Ahem… confetti is band in the church compound.

A lot of people don’t have anything nice to say about CMPC. Most of them think it’s just a piece of paper to allow you to get married. It’s almost the same like when we were in school, Bahasa Malaysia was a subject we can’t fail or we don’t the SPM certificate to graduate and go to college.

Alright, we went to our first CMPC meeting last Sunday. It was conducted by Andrew and Andrene, a couple who conducted the course for the past 24 years.

Cute couple, both of them is funny, and they tease each other a lot.

The meeting was in their home at Taman Melawati. It is a neighborhood near National Zoo, about an hour drive from PJ.

Very nice and cozy neighborhood; very nice and cozy home with lots of paintings and photographs dated from 42 years ago. Almost… like a museum.

There were another 8 couples with us. All are young, all are nice, and all of them came with an open mind.

How lucky we are? We thought.

The entire 3 hours… tea, snack, chat, quiz, sharing, discussion, and lots of laughter. Not a bit of lecture.

The verdict – we enjoy it and I can’t wait to go to the next meeting. I’m not sure about Alvin though, he seems to be more interested in the Hindu God statue in Batu Cave.

Monday, I told Melisa “CMPC is fun, you should enjoy it!”

“I wonder if there’s any way to get out of it…”

“You wouldn’t give up your dream wedding, are you?”

How many meters?

Sue and I were so excited! Finally, we got time to go to the tailor. She wants to turn her French lace into DVF like wrapped dress, and I wanna turn the sari fabric into a cheongsam inspired dress.

When my mother in law to be gave me the fabric, she told me it is enough to make a dress with train. I think she did mention its 4 meters.

Alright! Isn’t it good or what! What is a bride without wearing a dress with train?

Sue is an expert in fabric, when I told her it should be 4 meters she said it’s enough to make a long dress with short train.

So we were so gungho and went to see Faiz the tailor.

Guess what?

It was only 2 meters.

Sue and I looked at each other.

Laughed!!!!!

My mother in law to be is great in her own way. She has my respect to certain extend.

I already had a crisis with the sister in law to be; now, I got to raise hell with my mother in law to be too?

Oh… isn’t life grand?

Anyway, I didn’t turn into a monster. I stood there cracking my head for at least 10 minutes while Sue browsing through the collection of cheap beautiful gown. They were having clearance.

I have enough fabric for a short cheongsam.

I don’t want a short cheongsam.

What choice do I have?

Tailor made a sketch and told me her idea.

But, I don’t want an ordinary cheongsam!!!! I want a one shoulder cheongsam!!!!!

This is really a WTF moment.

When I was just about to give up on making a dress, since I already booked a dress in Wonder Momo, it’s a Laundry by Shelli Segal, a lemon yellow tube dress if you must know… Sue fished out a costume from the stock clearance collection.

Beautiful Malay wedding dress with train! With French Lace some more!

Ok… I can hear Ling laughing already… oh… maybe she’s not.

Nice. How much? RM125.

“125 only? You sure or not? French lace you know??? 1 meter of French lace can easily cost us RM98!”

“Affirmative!”

So I looked at the skirt, so beautiful. The right length and the right shade, the colour is perfectly paired with the sari fabric.

Great!

And then Sue had an idea.

“I know what to do with your top already.”

And then she sketched out her idea.

“Very nice!” I said.

The design is a corset and a jacket. It has my favorite butterfly sleeve and the collar looks Chinese but it’s an open collar. It has the Chinese button (there’s a name for it but I don’t remember what is it) to replace the usual button on jacket and then it’s long to give my body a slender look.

It looks too much like a kebaya jacket than a cheongsam inspired Jacket. Since the skirt we picked is a kebaya fish tail. And the embroidery looks kind of Malay too.

“I like it, but it’s not Chinese enough.” I said.

“No lah!” Like any designer, she defending her work, “it has Chinese collar what…”

We wanted to make something Muhibah but this one is too much like a Malay wedding gown. I’m using it for the Tea ceremony leh!

I like my jacket long like the half Kebaya top, now, we need to change something.

And then I thought, how about cap sleeve (most cheongsam has cap sleeve) and button collar, everything else stays.

“Ah!!!!! Very nice…” Sue sighs with approval.

I was happy. If anybody wants to say anything is wrong with this design, I will…

Ahem… I don’t know what I’ll do yet.

Ok… came the measurement and everything else. OMG! I’m so fat!!!

To achive my ideal figure, I gotta run at least 20KM on the treadmill on my next visit to the gym.

Honey, DON'T push that button!

My morning was screwed because I don’t know what I did that the someone who is pretty dear to my husband to be had to tell me formal is important!!!!

“…you have to fulfill certain expectations…”

“…classic is classy…”

“…not too trendy, not too vogue-ish…”

etc... etc…

Ok… I don’t see any of the gowns that allow me to walk down the red carpet (I’m talking about the Hollywood Oscar kind!) is not formal enough. In fact it’s more than formal. It’s something you wear to a black tie dinner or Toyota Concert! Of course, I’m not wearing black ;)

So, you should know I wasn’t very happy with the advice because

1) It’s too close to the wedding day and these should be the least I need to watch out and I think I have too many dress already.
2) I have more important thing to worry about!
3) I’ve spent enough money and I’m still dreaming of that French Lace.
4) She has not seen any of my gown other then the picture of a modern one shoulder cheongsam which I have not even got it made yet (I’m so going to make that because it’s so bloody stunning!)

So I started having argument with myself for the rest of the day and poor Jason got kicked by me a few times… sorry…

Here! If I meet all the above ‘expectations’ - classic is classy, not too trendy, not too vogue-ish. I will definitely look like one of my guests, for example: Sue and Hazel.

Sue and Hazel is the only lady I know, who has the money to dress up. They can be as classy as they love to be, as trendy as they want, as vogue-ish as the like. How many times already they almost outshine the bride?

Gosh! I really want that DVF dress…

Alright! Maybe she is just overly concern because Alvin told her somebody told him “lunch need not be formal” and she linking it to my “I don’t want anything too formal and traditional” together and decided to send me an email like that because she is so afraid of me being too casual.

I hate to say this: I was NEVER CASUAL when it comes to anybody’s wedding!

I replied “Thank you for the advice. May I know why you are concern about this?”

Now I understand why most brides often turn into bridezillas even if they don’t want to. And Sue commented I’m not bridezilla enough for her.

“You should live up to ‘it’s my wedding, I do what I pleased!’ attitude!” She said.

Hahaha… my nastiness is still not up to her expectation.

Anyway, I got a reply from her.

Because when you sent me that cheongsam photo, you said you (quote) don't want it to be so formal.

If you can't be formal for your wedding, then when???

… I felt it necessary to say what's on my mind

I try not to interfere and meddle in people's affairs but I speak up when I need to

you might feel defensive especially since I haven't seen your wedding gown (and I am sure it is elegant!) so please, YY, don't be offended by my comments as it is better to say early than talk after.

From what you have shown me so far, you and Alvin are doing a far fancier job than we did so keep up the good work.

… and I had just graduated and hadn't started our jobs yet so we were dirt poor, couldn't afford much.

Please let me know if you are offended, I will apologize!

It’s sure is sincere and she just win back my respect.

Thanks.

Yes. I was offended, but it's ok. No need to apologies.

I've already purchased the gown. Elegant or not? It's not Vera Wang so everybody can have different opinion.

The evening gown is a gift from a friend as wedding present. It's Beatrice Looi. I trust her taste in fashion and I will wear it for the evening.

I not only want to look different, I don't want to waste money on something I wear only once. I've made sure my dress and I are fit enough to go on the red carpet; I've made sure they are one of a kind. Best of all (if possible), I want to wear them again for other event.

Yes. I did say I do not want something so formal because I don't want to wear a cheongsam that look just like another cheongsam. One shoulder cheongsam like that may be too "out of the box" and you may have better suggestion.

Since we don't have much money to do anything fancier, I am thinking if I should go ahead and make the one shoulder cheongsam for tea ceremony and lunch instead of making another dress for the sake of having another dress just for lunch.

There are so many things that are out of our control that are not done. We are way behind schedule.

We just got the cost from Becky yesterday.

Alvin has not got his suit made.

We have not yet confirmed the location for dinner, looks like our only choice is Merdeka Palace.

Invitation card, which supposed to be ready much earlier, the design is still not out yet!

Of all the above, we are yet to consider how many more things would cost too much that we have to omit.

Thank you for your concern. I know what I'm doing. I can only hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Any suggestions will be valued.

Did I live up to my bridezilla value?